Tag Archives: Fatty McButter Pants

Fatman Begins

13 Jan

“You’re just never going to be one of those skinny girls…”

14 years later the echo of my mother’s scorn still rings in my ears… Maybe it wasn’t all that serious, but who can forget a statement like that being whispered to them in a dressing room at the age of 13?

As punishment I repeat these words to my mother on an almost weekly basis. It’s the moment that will never die for her. 🙂 I can see her rolling her eyes at me right now, and hear her saying to herself, “That’s not what I meant.” True…However, Fatty McButter Pants was already taken on wordpress, blogspot and blog.com as a user name. So, here I am, inviting all of our friends to share in this moment with us,  because it’s all I could come up with and because she was right. I am not now, nor have I ever been “one of those skinny girls.”  I am, however, a serial yoyo dieter with occasional self-esteem issues (see: fat complex) that can usually be squashed with a donut and a pair of Spanx (shout out to Oprah and Nicole Ritchie for the help on that)! In other words, I eat because I’m fat and I’m fat because I eat… you get the picture.

You may be wondering, “Why did she just share that awful story?” Well, I began this blog as a way to share what has become a new profession for me, yoyo dieting for money! That’s right, I’m about to get paid to win a weight loss contest! They decided at work to have a contest to see who could lose the highest percentage of body weight. Winner gets $750.00. So, after 7 days of bulking (see: eating until sick on a daily basis and avoiding the gym like a disease), I am about to eat raw for the next 60 days (see: starve and work out like a ferocious wild animal). This blog is an attempt to journal my progress. Beginning tomorrow I will be sharing my weight (which I will post following our first weigh in for anyone curious), and my mood throughout the next 2 months. I am welcoming any tips, which I will likely ignore, and/or encouragement, which I will likely need as I spend the next two weeks experiencing the food DTs.